I Just Came to Say Hello…Hello…Hello

Why a stranger’s hello can do more than just brighten your day

At the first session of my yoga class, our instructor began by greeting us with “namaste.” Most of us echoed it back to her, or even exchanged it with our fellow yogis — though there were a few puzzled expressions in the crowd. When our instructor noticed, she asked if we were all familiar with the meaning and significance of the word “namaste.” Met with a collective silence, she took it upon herself to elaborate on it. “Namaste is a Sanskrit word with the literal translation of “I bow to you,” or “Salutations to you.” However, we yogis define it as “the light in me sees the light in you.” Through our greetings, we practice mindfulness, a core value we hold dear and demonstrate that, not only are we aware of ourselves, but we also want to show respect and recognition to our surroundings — to you.

“hey, hello, salaam, namaste

As I was contemplating what I heard, something clicked in my mind, bringing back memories of my childhood in Iran. It reminded me of when my mom preached to me from a young age to always greet familiar faces with “salaam”, which means “hi” in Persian. She used to say “salaam” means health, and upon saying it, you are wishing good health upon others. I vividly recall walking to a new place as a bright-eyed preschooler and saying “hi” to everyone I could see and shaking their hand. It is interesting that it was, and still is, a common practice among Iranians — so much so that seeing it performed by a 6-year-old was not very extraordinary. Regardless of how old we were, how close our relationships were or where we stood in society, we would all stand up, shake each other’s hand and embrace the chance to connect with one another.

As I reflect on my childhood, I believe those small interactions not only boosted my social skills, but filled me with a sense of joy and belonging — something I hope everyone gets to experience. 

Here in the U.S., I’ve noticed the greeting culture is much different. It has become so normal to sit for hours in a class without uttering a single word to our neighbors, or to walk past a friend without even a nod or wave. Not only do we not initiate greetings with our professors and teachers, but we leave their greetings unanswered. No wonder we often find ourselves disconnected from the people around us. Here, the culture of individualism has robbed us of opportunities for social interaction, affecting our mental state. 

“…filled me with a sense of joy and belonging — something I hope everyone gets to experience.” 

Simple social interactions are not only encouraged because of their social importance but are also proven to better our mental well-being. A recent article — “Why a stranger’s hello can do more than just brighten your day” by Rhitu Chatterjee — made me realize I was not the only person who felt a warmth in my heart when it came to greetings. The article detailed some experiences and research from Gillian Sandstrom, who made a  significant career shift from computer programming to psychology in pursuit of scientifically proving this phenomenon. When Sandstrom was rethinking her major, and therefore feeling alienated from her former community, she found comfort in the hello of a stranger — “the hot dog lady.” Even though they were complete strangers and Sandstrom never bought any food from her, their daily exchange of just a friendly wave was the highlight of her days. “She made me feel happy and less isolated […] I felt better after seeing her and worse if she wasn’t there,” Sandstrom said. 

Inspired by this personal experience, she wanted to research whether social interactions really did have an effect on mental health and sense of community. She divided several participants into two different groups: those who were encouraged to share a smile and engage in a brief conversation with their baristas, and those who were instructed not to do so. After surveying both groups, the results indicated that those who had brief interactions with their baristas reported improved moods and a greater sense of belonging. In contrast with the common belief, our contentment in our social lives is not only dependent on long, deep late-night conversations with a close friend but can be derived from small social interactions with people we have “weak social ties” with. 

“…you are seen and cherished.

As mentioned earlier, it all revolves around the sense of recognition, beautifully described by Dr. Maymunah Kadiri as the realization that “you are not just in your own cocoon,” but rather you are seen and cherished. A “hi” to a classmate, a “thanks” to a cashier, or a nod to a familiar face walking by matters so much more than we think it does.

Just as yogis who believe there is a light within me that is perceived by the light within you, as my fellow Iranians who rise to celebrate the moment of union and as a hot dog vendor who is a ray of sunshine to a desperate soul, I am inspired to follow in their footsteps. I will always say, “hey, hello, salaam, namaste,” every chance that I get, to whomever I can.

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